Thoughts While Watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

(In no particular order; mild spoilers? not really, but I’m hedging my bets)

1. This Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) is giving House a run for his “crabby doctor-hunk” money.

2. I really need to watch Sherlock on BBC.

3. Is Benedict Cumberbatch going to be typecast as a “perfect specimen”? Considering Sherlock, has he already?

4. Wow, that’s a lingering shot of Zoe Saldana’s bottom. And what’s up with the scene where Alice Eve is changing? Talk about adolescent Trekkie male gaze…

5. I love this audience. Everybody laughs raucously at the corny jokes and cheers whenever a famous Trek line is uttered. Maybe I could get into this “Trekkie” stuff…

6. Jim Kirk has a good father, a bad father, and a dead (angel) father. Could this movie have been titled: “Star Trek: Into Fathers and Sons”? (Fathers #1 and #2 call him “son,” note.)

7. Spock has such plump, supple Vulcan ears. I want to pull at them like taffy.

8. Spock and Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) are like THE SAME CHARACTER. Well, not really, but it’s weirdly close. And both characters are played by openly gay actors in Hollywood — coincidence?! (Almost certainly. Still: good trivia)

9. Kirk is such a playboy. What other characters in film and television are playboys? … Oh wait, if I try to do the mental calculations, my head will explode. 

10. Man, JJ Abrams loves his lens flares, doesn’t he? (See this video; also: Super 8)

11. USS Enterprise should totally be renamed USS Bromance. I’d shatter a bottle of champagne over that bad boy.

12. Better than Iron Man 3.

4 thoughts on “Thoughts While Watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

  1. I’m sorry, but Iron Man 3 was way better than Star Trek into Darkness. And not just because it passed the Bechdel Test, but that doesn’t hurt! I felt that Iron Man 3 had legitimate character development (Tony’s PTSD and fear and identity crisis were very compelling) while Star Trek wasn’t really about anything. I think we can agree that they both had ridiculous endings though.

  2. Maybe it’s my nerdiness showing, but the last two Trek films are some of the sloppiest written Hollywood films not penned by John Logan. I get that you’re seeing this as a non-fan, and that’s totally cool, but when your series goes from a film that combines Moby Dick, A Tale Of Two Cities and Horatio Hornblower to a reboot that discards all verisimilitude just so some guy can carry a minigun… Ehhhhhhhhh.

    It just feels like a 13 year old with ADHD wrote his own comic and doesn’t understand things like character development or emotional arcs.

    Your mileage may vary.

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